unloved woman

The Earth Trembles: an Unloved Woman When She gets a Husband

unloved womanProverbs and the unloved woman who gets a husband

Proverbs  tells us that there are three, yes, four things that cause the earth to tremble. The first one is a slave who becomes king. The second one is a fool when he is filled with food. This week, we talk about the third one: an unloved woman when she gets a husband.

Many versions use different names for “unloved” in verse 23. Some of these are: bitter, contemptable, unloved, and odious (extremely unpleasant). Other verses cross-referenced use terms such as: brawling and contentious.

My first thoughts when reading this were, “But of course she’s a difficult person to live with; she is an unloved woman.” Yet, as I looked deeper, I found that the implication is she was unloved before and after her marriage because of her lack of character and pleasantness.

Nobody likes to be around a cantankerous child or adult. There’s something about being around a cantankerous woman that’s downright annoying, unpleasant, and despicable.  Charles Swindoll says, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond.”

Most of us know folks who grew up in the same home, yet their responses made them either better persons or bitter persons. There is no way getting around it: we can’t blame anyone else for our attitude because we dress ourselves in our attitude. Even if you are an unloved woman, there is no reason to punish everyone else.

There are people I avoid because of their attitude. They are miserable and are out to make certain everyone else is miserable, too. You know those folks. You might even be one of those folks, some days.

unloved womanThe earth trembles at the constant dripping

There are women I’ve done my best to stay away from. Some of them were coworkers.  Some were extended family members. Everyone had to tiptoe around them to keep the peace. When we had to be around the person, we kept the contact as minimal as possible because we didn’t want to stir up a volcano. She brought her problems to work and made everyone suffer because of her contentiousness. It was her way or the highway, and anyone who dared to suggest a different road paid for it the rest of the day.

Proverbs talks about women who are like this. It’s better, Proverbs says, to live on the corner of a roof than with a brawling woman in a wide house. There’s not enough room for her contentiousness, that’s what Proverbs says. So just get out of the way. Crawl up on the roof so you can have your peace instead of sharing space with this unloved woman!

That dripping faucet is like a contentious woman, Proverbs says. A constant dripping on a rainy day is just like a contentious woman. What a reputation to have!

When a woman is single, her brawling affects herself. When she has a husband and a family, she can change the atmosphere for her spouse and  her children. That contentiousness is fed into her kids and they assume that is the way a person should act and live. No wonder the earth trembles when an unloved woman gets a husband.

Checking your cantankerousness

  • Do you enjoying knowing you can wield your power over others in your home or at work?
  • Are you guilty of  deliberately “drip, drip, dripping” your way into a situation to have it your way?
  • Do others tend to stay away from you, especially in smaller settings where there is no one to buffer them from your cantankerousness?
  • Does your spouse acquiesce to you because he knows it’s not worth the hassle to try to stand his ground?
  • Have you discovered that your spouse takes a passive role at times, just allowing you to make decisions about schedule, the kids, or the house? Could it be that you’ve taken over and he thinks it’s not worth the fight to disagree with you?
  • Do others feel comfortable to ask you to help with projects or events, or do you find that you are seldom asked?

unloved womanHeart check honesty in the unloved woman department

Most of us know where we fit in this category. It might be hard to admit, but we know. If you’re cantankerous and bitter, you know. You also know if others stay away from you instead of wanting to hang with you. When you can tell that others notice your grumpiness, bitterness, or aloofness, you decide if you want to change. A pattern of life is hard to break, but it is not impossible! It must begin in the heart.

An unloved woman can become a woman who is truly loved and enjoyed by her spouse, family, friends, and co-workers. She can go from continual dripping to bringing sunshine into the lives of those with whom she lives, works, or plays.

An unloved woman can become a woman who is loved. Her response to life’s situations will change the tenor of her home and her work environment. Her response will either build or destroy. A woman who builds her house will become a woman who is loved.

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  1. Good reminder Gert that our situations and difficulties through life do not have to define us. I have had some extremely tough situations throughout my life but I still say the joy of the Lord is my strength. No ones wants to be around a person with an “ugly” attitude. I pray I can use my struggles to help someone else be an overcomer and live for the glory of God.

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