How to Choose Purchases for Our Kids

The pressure is on

Do you have a way to choose purchases for your kids?  Do you choose based on what others are doing?  Is it based on what your kids want in the moment? Do you perhaps choose based on what your kids see that others have or experience?

I remember the days of Book Fairs at school.  That catalog came home and every single kid just had to purchase a book. There was pressure from the school (it was a fund raiser) and pressure from our kids’ friends. After all, everyone else’s mom was sending a check to buy the books their kid wanted.

How long after the books were purchased were our kids still reading them? Could they even find the books? Had anyone even read the books to them?

We attended concerts – where a myriad of T-shirts, books, head bands, and hats were available. After all, our kids had to have at least some of those items. Yet, how many weeks after the event were our kids still wearing the headbands or hats – and did they even know where the T-shirts were?

Taking the pressure off

For starters, our children should not decide how we spend the money we have. What their friends are doing nor pressure from other parents should cause us to purchase items our kids won’t appreciate a year from now.

There’s a way to help our kids figure out what matters most in situations like this. For starters, we should not feel guilty if we don’t have the financial means to buy them everything they beg for in scenarios like this. 

When you know up front there’s going to be an opportunity to choose purchases, have a plan. Perhaps your kids can choose one book per year from book fairs. They can find a way to make money to buy additional books on their own if it matters that much to them. Oftentimes, kids will choose to save rather than spend when it has to come from their own earnings. We certainly experienced that with our kids.

When you’re going to be attending an event where purchases can be a snare, talk to your kids ahead of time. Perhaps they can be given a certain amount of money for food and extras. They decide if they’d rather have a soft drink or an extra item from the event. When it’s their choice, they find it easier to drink water instead of a soft drink so they can purchase that special momento.

The bottom line

Talk to your kids about the things that matter most. Is that toy or hat really necessary?  A year from now will they be glad they purchased it?  Our children can learn to think about long-term effects and not just what they want in the moment. They can learn, but we have to help them. Buying everything they want in the moment teaches them nothing.

Helping our kids make their own decisions prepares them for life. In the future, their financial situation might not allow them to have everything they want in the moment. What better way to prepare for this than when they are young. Spend your time teaching them these principles instead of gifting them with things that leave them empty down the road.

p