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How Just a Foothold Can Destroy a Marriage

footholdAll he needs is a foothold

Getting your foot in the door is the same as getting a foothold in the door. When someone attempts to close a door, a foot stuck in that door guarantees leverage to keep the door from closing and opportunity to move further inside the room.

A foothold is a secure position from which further progress can be made. A person can’t make progress without first establishing a foothold. That is exactly what the devil tries to do. He doesn’t destroy by being bold and brash; he subtly gets a foot in the door – making certain the door stays open just a little. Before we know it, the foothold is larger and stronger – and harder to defeat.

A person who has an affair does not usually get up one morning and  decide he wants to have an affair. He does not normally plan weeks or months ahead to have an affair or to be unfaithful to his spouse. It happens subtly by the crack of the door that seems harmless at first.

If you ask most folks who have had affairs what happened, they will tell you that it wasn’t a sudden, rash decision. It was something that happened little by little. Dissatisfaction, disgruntlement, hurt, anger, frustration, feeling uncherished or disrespected – all of these are where the door gets cracked just a little. Then, suddenly, the foothold is stronger than we thought it could be.

How to guard the door of your marriage against footholds of Satan

Don’t keep secrets. When you or your spouse keep secrets from each other, you are giving Satan a foothold. Secrets are detrimental to any relationship. If you can’t or won’t share something, that’s a problem. You’re not only giving a foothold, you’re opening the door widely to let the barrier become wider. Telling your secrets and bringing them out in the open stifles the power of evil. Truth sets us free. When a secret is shared, the power of that secret is lost. Click To Tweet

Honor the concerns of your spouse. When your spouse has a concern, honor that concern. She might be jealous or ridiculous, but honoring that concern builds trust and puts you on the same team. Belittling concerns only widens the stronghold of the devil. Sometimes time helps a spouse see that her concerns were not valid, or that she was acting childish; in that case, time is your friend and the friend of your relationship. Other times, you might learn that she was wiser than you thought, and you’ll be glad you listened to her.

Speak highly of your spouse. When others know you are disgruntled, it will bring sympathy for you. If you constantly put down your spouse, you are leaving yourself ripe for unfaithfulness. Soon you will have folks who are sympathetic to your plight; they will want to be your friend and before you know it, they will be more than a friend. When folks hear you speak positively about your spouse, they will more likely leave you alone. In those times you are propositioned, reaffirm your commitment to your spouse verbally so everyone hears.

Your strongest enemy

Don’t trust the devil. Too often a spouse does not feel good about an event, a relationship, or an experience before it actually takes place. Suggesting a concern can be misconstrued as showing a lack of trust when someone says “of course you can trust me.” So, in an effort to prove trust, the spouse silences her concern.  She continues to not feel good about a relationship her spouse has with someone, or about events he participates in without her and with the other person, or about texts that go back and forth. Yet, she feels powerless to say anything because she wants to prove her trust. She should tell her spouse that she does not trust the devil and while she wants to trust him, she recognizes that Satan will try to gain a foothold however he can.

Fight for your marriage. Do not stop fighting. Do not stop talking to your spouse about your concerns. Our intuition tells us when something is not right. Listen to your heart and keep communicating your concerns. Get counsel if you cannot get on the same page. Don’t let your spouse belittle you for your concerns, because belittling is a sign of guilt.

Nixing the foothold

Recognize the strongholds Satan wants to use to make you lose. If you do these things, your marriage will not fall prey to the wiles of the devil.

Be truthful. Don’t keep secrets.

Be honoring. Respect your spouse and his/her desires. Cherishing what you have puts a hedge of protection around your marriage.

Speak positively to and about your spouse.

Recognize the wiles of Satan. Fight for your marriage. Don’t let him win. When you suspect or see a stronghold, bring it to the forefront and come up with a plan to deflect it’s hold on you or your marriage.

Let Truth win. You’ll be glad you did.

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