#1 What I’d Do Differently In Raising Kids – the Saturday Job List

Looking back at my parenting

That job list!  What my kids remember most, I’m sure. They asked me the other day what things I’d do differently in raising our half dozen, looking back. I named a few. Yet the one thing my kids wanted to hear from me was about “the list” I made weekly for the chores on Saturday. (I’ll share about the other things on the list of what I’d do differently later).

Looking back, I know how it went wrong. I expected too little of my kids, and my “list” showed it. It’s true!

When they completed the list sooner than I expected, there was still time to do more things I hadn’t put on the list. Naturally, I saw no reason not to add to the job list – which I did – regularly, I might add. My kids will never, ever let me live this one down.

Revamping the list

What I should have done with that job list was ask Dave about it. What I did instead was contemplate their response to the job list and make the list accordingly. I dumbed that list down. Not a smart thing to do, I realize now. Not smart at all!

I’d look at the list and immediately believe they would be right if they said it was “too much” or “not fair.” I should have shown the list to Dave and asked him if he thought it was too much or too hard for his offspring. He would probably have told me to add more things to the list instead of taking some off.

Since I didn’t ask Dave, what happened was that I handed out the job list and the kids divided things up. Then, as the work progressed, I found more necessary jobs for completion. (When a half gallon of sweet southern tea is spilled on the floor, of course it must be mopped – but what do you do when mopping  isn’t on the list?!)

The kids also completed the work in a shorter time than I anticipated. So, I did the logical thing. I added more things to the job list. Instead, a better idea is to have enough things on the list so it took them longer than an hour or two – or three. Then I would be able to extend grace and allow them to not complete some items. A much more popular option, don’t you think?! Instead of being the mean mom, they’d call me the merciful mom.

How to make the job list so everyone wins

So for all the moms out there who struggle with what is too much or not fair for your kids, ask the man of the house. If there’s not a man of the house, ask an uncle or another man. You’ll have a better perspective and have his support as well. Remember that moms tend to move more with emotions and a male perspective can help you find rationale and focus.

If I had to do it over, that’s what I’d do differently about assigning the list of chores to my kids. I’m wondering: what would you do differently when it comes to chores for your kids?!

This is a repost from five years ago. That job list still brings me chagrin.