Parenting – Two Choices are Best

Two choices

The older gentleman wanted to treat his wife, so he did not give her two choices. He gave her 100 choices instead! They drove fifty miles to a Tastee Freeze that boasted 100 flavors of ice cream. The choices were too many, so guess what she chose?!  Vanilla! Can you imagine his response? What about hers? She couldn’t decide because the choices were so many, and she went with one she knew she’d like: vanilla.

When I was a kid, I (and my siblings) were often given two choices.  Which would you rather do: weed the garden or clean the bathrooms? Do you want to hang out the week’s laundry or bring it in?  Would you rather go on the bread route with Mama on Tuesday or on Friday? [You’re going one of those days, so choose!]

We weighed our choices carefully (and usually selfishly) and then chose what we wanted most in the moment. (Fortunately for us, what one didn’t want to do, usually another one did, and the work could be evened out because of our family’s size.)

When you think about it, most of life is about two choices: serving God or Satan; heaven or hell; the narrow way or the broad way; truth or lies; forgiveness or hatred; faithfulness or infidelity; giving or hoarding; sharing or claiming.

Too many is too much

When a child is given too many choices, he can’t decide. He mulls over each one because his little mind cannot think that far and that wide. Instead of thinking you’re doing him a favor by offering him many choices, narrow it down to two. 

Does he want to wear the red shirt or the blue one?  Take a bath now or after he’s done playing, right before bedtime? When you know he can’t handle an activity the length of time allotted, let him decide: does he want to go the party before his nap or after (or before something else or after)? Does he want to help wrap the gift in a gift bag or in a box with wrapping paper?  Which color wrapping paper does he want – green or yellow? Does he want the red bow or the blue one?  If you ask him which color bow he wants to use, he’ll likely change his mind several times, thus frustrating you and thereby frustrating him.

Life is easier with two choices

As your child matures and develops, his brain will handle more. Don’t think you’re doing him a favor by giving him the opportunity to make decisions based on many choices. Make life easier for him – and for you – by limiting his choice. This makes choosing less difficult because you narrow down the choices. As he develops, you can add a third choice or a fourth. Yet most of the time, our kids and teens do better with less choices instead of more. Remember that a child doesn’t need 64 or 32 crayons. He will be happier with less because he won’t need to make as many decisions. When you think you want to give your kids more than enough, remember the older lady with her vanilla ice cream. Make the choices easier, not harder.

Photo credits:  crayons by Wokandapix@ pixabay.com; colored pencils by Yeyeqinqin@pixabay.com