How Not Comparing Your Kids Brings Rest

The temptation for comparing is real

It happens all the time. We compare our kids’ athletic abilities or musical abilities or the grades they make. We compare how much financial help they get for college or promotions at their place of work.

We compare who walks first, who talks first, who crawls first or who learns to dance best or which one is the best ball player. Because we deserve to have the child who does better than others, don’t we?

Sometimes we compare grades (if we can find out what that other mama’s kid’s grades are). Somehow it’s important that if another kid got an A in a class, ours should, too.

Carrying the comparison baton

We do it for so long and so well that, by the time we’re grandparents, we move right into comparing grandkids. Not only are we comparing our grandkids, we continue to compare our kids.

Oh, some of us don’t say a word out loud, but we compare. We might even compare how many grandchildren we have with other women. Or we might compare the incomes of our spouses.

Measuring ourselves and our kids by other people is wrong. God said comparing ourselves against others is not wise. Check out  2 Corinthians 10:12

Comparing is unfair

Some of us are verbal about our comparisons, and some of us just take note and quietly stack up our kids or grandkids against other kids. There’s not a thing wrong with comparing how another toddler the age of your kids is doing; comparing notes can be encouraging to moms. Struggling with potty-training is easier when another mom is struggling, too.

Yet, when we feel sorry for our child who didn’t make the grade when another one did, or when we’re certain the kid who made all A-s when ours didn’t just had to be cheating, then it’s wrong.

Rest at the end of the day – comparing

It takes a lot of energy to compare, or to keep tabs with how others are doing. You can rest from that. Stop comparing. Recognize that God gifts us differently – including our kids and grandkids.

Think about it. When you or your child stands before the gate of Heaven, will it matter if he was potty-trained two months later than his cousin the same age? Will you be crying because his cousin learned to ride bike before your kid did? When he stands before the gates of Heaven, will it matter if he got that scholarship or that job or that house?

If it won’t matter then, how can it be important now? Let it go. In its place, you will find rest. Just rest.