Time Out for Kids

Another way to discipline.

When I was a child, Mama used “time out”, but she didn’t call it that. It was simply “sitting in a chair” for an undesignated time. You sat until you were ready to apologize/behave/obey. It’s the same principle as time out today.

I rather think Mama used sitting in a chair as a way to govern her own response. I don’t remember she ever disciplined in anger. Certainly, we knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that she was upset. Mama’s method worked because she did it right.  It still works today, when it’s done right.

Time Out happens when a child is sent to his room or made to sit in a chair where he can be watched by the parent. Sometimes there’s more than one child sequestered in a chair, which makes it interesting.

One way to handle this consequence

The rule at Mama’s house (and at mine) was when a child was in Time Out, he had no privileges. He couldn’t talk, play with a toy, have a drink, or participate from afar. No matter what game was being played, he couldn’t take part. This gave him time to think of his infraction and consider whether it was worth the consequence. 

This discipline method also gives a child time to calm down and think about what happened. He can also think about what he could or should have done differently. When he’s banished to that chair (or room), he can’t hit another child because he’s too far away, nor can he spout off.  It’s a win-win.

We had a child who spent a lot of time in Time Out. She was a toddler and, when she refused to brush her teeth, pick up the toys, or get her hair combed, she went to that trusty chair. I dusted many rooms and cleaned many bathrooms while she was confined to her chair. No making messes for me to clean up during that time, for sure!

Sometimes there’s the test of the will. Recognize that some kids need more time to process than do others. I learned that sticking it out paid large dividends.

The Get out of Jail card

At times I also allowed a child a “get out of jail” card. He was permitted to leave the chair to put his laundry away, or empty the dishwasher (his job for the day). Once the task was done, he was banished back to that chair. This prevented him from being rewarded for his infraction. He had to serve his time, but he got a reprieve momentarily for “good behavior.”

The win-win

For the parent, Time Out gives time to take deep breaths and think about what the problem was in the first place. Sometimes it’s easy to assume and deal out punishment without taking time to think the situation through. When we take time to figure out the root cause, we can easier find our way to giving consequences that are age-appropriate.

In the end, both the parent and the child win. Consequences are given and restoration is made. It takes longer than a quick spanking, but it’s worth the effort. Each child is different. What works better for one does not always work better for another. Taking our time to figure things out is a win-win for everyone.

Photo credit: Dark Moon via Pixabay.com