Raising Kids – Living in the Moment

Living in the moment

A constant focus of living in the moment is hard. It doesn’t matter how many kids you have, living in the moment is (sometimes) hard. There are a myriad of voices calling our name: laundry, cleaning, cooking, returning library books, practices, church, competitions, illness, and life. Some days we make it by the skin of our teeth. Other days there is smooth sailing. Most days fall somewhere in between. One of the problems is that we usually cannot completely expect what happens in our day. Sure, we have a schedule; we know which appointments we must keep; we know if we’re out of milk. Yet, oftentimes, life happens and we feel ambushed or sideswiped at the end of the day.

How I’d do it differently

If I could go back to my days of actively parenting, I’d do some things differently. At least I would try.  I would try to live more in the moment. We made memories, we had special “project days”, and we made time for important events. I think, if I could go back, I’d spend more time at dinner each evening looking at the faces of each of my kids. Instead of thinking of unfolded laundry, I’d try to focus in the daily moments that seemed insignificant and make myself pause and remember, “all too soon these days will be over.”

In the moments of creative chaos and messes made in my house, I’d try to forget the to do list. Instead, I’d take more time to bask in the wonder of kids at play.  

I’d gossip less and play more. For certain, I’d pray even more. It might not have helped my kids, but it certainly would have helped me. 

I’d be more consistent in discipline and less strict in things that didn’t really matter. I would focus more in teaching my kids instant obedience instead of giving so many warnings, when I knew my kids knew . . . ! Keying in on whether a child was exhibiting one of the 3 Ds earlier would save trouble down the road. If their infraction was not one of the 3 Ds, I’d let more things go. The 3 Ds are disobedience, defiance, and disrespect. That certainly would involve living in the moment.

I’d worry less about what others thought about my kids and focus more on what God wanted from them. To do that, I’d have to take more time to listen to God’s heart for my kids. I’d ask for forgiveness more quickly and be more generous with compliments.

What I’d do the same

For certain, my focus in “raising kids today for tomorrow’s world” would be paramount. I’d still remember that defiance is better squelched at two than at sixteen. Daily living would still be used to teach principles of life with my kids. Living in the moment does not mean a mom has to ignore a dirty bedroom or undone chores. It does mean there is beauty right under our noses that we fail to realize when we’re so focused on what is wrong.

For certain, our kids would attend church regularly and I’d take time to pray, not just for their attitudes and weaknesses, but for their souls. I’d still pray that they’d make it Heaven, regardless if they made it to Harvard. I’d pray they’d be caught if they were doing something wrong. 

I’d take time to make more memories, to let my kids learn to do things on their own without constantly correcting their attempts. I’d still love them to pieces and still love their father more.

 I’m sure, if I could go back and do some things differently, I’d still end up thinking of ways I could have done it better. I’m grateful for grace – and forgiveness, not just from God, but from the children God gave to us.