How Children Absorb Emotions

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Our children learn what we think and how we feel about things without us saying a word. Our emotions are there, and our children absorb emotions. How important it is, then, to consider the vibes are children pick up in the daily activities of life.

My aunt Kate served as a missionary in Germany in the 1950s and 1960s.  Before her arrival home, my mother and her sister spent the day getting the small house ready. She was their sister-in-law, but it didn’t matter. They were family.

My youngest sister remembers the excitement in the air the day she went with our mama to help our aunt. “I certainly could feel the excitement in the festive atmosphere in that little house that day, and distinctively remember the adults applying milk to plant leaves to make them shiny – a special touch in welcoming Aunt Kate home.”¹  When children see us do special things for people, they understand that these people are important to us. Those same people then become important to them. We don’t need to teach that attitude; it is caught.

children absorb emotions in the air

My young sister knew Aunt Kate, but she did not know her well, for our aunt lived in Germany. Yet, she sensed and felt the excitement from the adults that day. Because her mother and aunt were excited, she was excited. Had she heard negative remarks or sensed resentment from the adults, she would no doubt have felt the same way. 

In the same vein, our children pick up negative vibes we have toward others. They sense our feelings toward others. If we dislike someone, they will feel that dislike. If we avoid someone, they notice and will absorb that dislike. Before we know it, our kids climb on a bandwagon and have no idea where it is going or why it is heading there.

controlling emotions

Since we cannot control the fact that our children absorb emotions, it behooves us to have the right emotions. It is not enough to not speak ill of someone, for our kids pick up how we feel, despite our absence of words.

We can send our kids outside when we discuss negative issues, but they will still pick up and absorb emotions. The only way to correct the concern is to correct our emotions. 

¹Jonas B. and Barbara Swartzentruber Miller Family, Homecoming, Lulu Online Publishing, 2012, page. 267