The Purpose of Marriage
Marriage purpose
This is the truth: the purpose of marriage is not happily ever after. It’s not about finding happiness and fulfillment in life. The purpose is not even about blending two people’s hearts in love forever.
Marriage has a three-fold purpose:
- To declare the image of the Godhead
- A demonstration of Christ’s love for the church. Scripture tells us so.
- To make us more holy. This is sanctification.
The blessing of God’s plan for marriage is that we become fulfilled, happy, and in love forever. Even though life and marriage are difficult, we can be happy ever after. This is the benefit of doing things God’s way.
Scripture tells us that Christ’s love for the church was so deep that He gave everything for His bride. He really did. He gave His life. When a husband sacrifices everything for the safety and sanctity of his bride, she wants to please him. That’s selfless love and selfless giving.
The mystery of marriage
Ephesians tells us that marriage is a mystery because it refers to Christ and the church. Marriage is a symbol of the joining of the Church with Christ. The husband is to leave his father and mother and be joined with his wife. (In-laws, this means you stay out of it.) Joining together as husband and wife sanctifies us, making us pure. When we do marriage this way, this really happens.
When a husband wants to lead and serve his wife in ways that encourage and cherish her, she can greatly empower him to glorify his Head- Jesus Christ. When a wife wants to become complete, pure, and holy to honor her Head- her husband, she reflects the love and submission of the Church to its Head- Jesus Christ. When these are realities in a marriage relationship, and not merely wedding dreams, marriage provides the fulfillment and joy that God designed it to do. This isn’t Greek. It’s plain, simple English.
Marital trouble appears when our sin-natures do not want to follow what we ought to do. We look for fulfillment and happiness in the ideas of others. Suddenly, submission becomes subjugation. Leadership becomes dictatorial. At least, that’s what folks would have us think. [And sometimes, leaders are dictatorial, which is not the way God intends them to be; sometimes wives are not willing to submit or are asked to do things they ought not be asked to do.]
Giving up what we want or what we think makes us happy is hard. Giving in when we both have opinions that are opposite is not easy. Yet, that is what is expected – and required – for the believer. This thing of “becoming one” is not speaking just about sexual intimacy, or “one flesh”. We maintain our individuality, but we become one in our marriage. Becoming one means each one moves in unity with the other. We move in rhythm with each other.
The delight of marriage
Delight in marriage comes when we work with each other and allow God to change us so that we truly “fit together”. We blend in harmony (even though we sometimes disagree) because our purpose is to fight our real enemy – Satan. Our purpose is unity and we aim for that purpose by learning to harmonize together. It takes work and practice to learn to give up our wants and submit to one another. This truly happens when we give up strife and pride, and each one of us esteems the other better than him/herself. We never completely arrive at the point where there is never any conflict, discord, or friction. Yet, when we keep tuning our hearts to each other, we become willing servants of each other – which is a true picture of the Church and Jesus Christ.
When we blend together in harmony, there is delight in the company of each other. There is friendship, comradery, support, and a cherished relationship. It doesn’t happen without work, without sacrifice, and without being unselfish. When we fulfill the purpose of marriage, we can enjoy its mystery and its delight. Ask me how I know!
