Finding is Being
Finding the right person is not just about looking, but also about being. Whether you’re looking for an employer, employee, spouse, or friend, there are some things to consider. Granted, these are not all in the same playing field. Yet, there is a similarity. When we job-seek, we have ideas for what we want to do, where we want to work, and what we hope our employer will be like. When we’re looking for an employee, we are searching for the right person for the job.
The same is true for finding a spouse. We have ideas of what we want in the person we are going to marry. Interesting, isn’t it, that often we try to figure out who and what we want our spouse or employer to be like. We fail to consider the type of person that we are.
The secret to finding the right person is to be the right person. It’s simple.
Make your list of character qualities (forget the looks because they change over time). Yep.
- If you’re looking for a spouse, do you want a man who leads you spiritually?
- Do you want a man who is financially stable, who knows who he is, and where he’s going?
- Does it matter if your spouse is devoted to his family and treats his mother with respect?
- Do you care if he is a gentleman and cares tenderly for animals?
- Do you want an employer who treats you fairly, is honest, and shows care to the concerns of his employees?
- Does it matter to you if he is honest with customers and clients, if he does not overcharge his clients or overburden his employees?
- Do you hope to find an employee who is punctual, trust-worthy, and committed to doing his work well?
Once you’ve made your list, take a look at yourself. Ask yourself: how do you fare in the availability department? Do you fit the criteria for the person you are searching?
Being leads to finding the right person
Are you the kind of person the man you desire is looking for in a spouse?
If an employer looked at your character traits, would he want to hire you?
Is it not often a problem that we know what we want but never consider that the kind of person we are seeking must also be attracted to the kind of person we are?
If you want a spouse who is honest with you, are you willing to be honest with him? You want a spouse who loves you without condition. Are you willing and able to do the same? You want a spouse who will commit himself to you for life. Are you willing to commit yourself to someone for life?
If you want an employer who is kind, fair, and honest, are you willing to be the kind of employee this boss would want to hire? If you’re looking for an employee who is dependable, loyal, and conscientious, are you willing to be that same type of person?
Finding means you must fit the bill
Many years ago, someone told me that finding the right spouse is more about being than finding. I wondered about that. Now, after 37 years of marriage, I don’t wonder anymore. I know this is true.
Instead of focusing on finding the right person, place your focus on yourself. Become the right person so that the right person can find you!