Marriage – Drinking from Your Own Well

your own wellComparison of your own well.

In marriage, you have your own well. There isn’t a one of us who has not one day had the thought “I wish hubby would do ___ like him.”  OR “It would be nice if hubby acted like ____.” Comparison. We’re all good at that. So much so that we are warned about it in scripture.  A wise person does not compare his spouse with others. This is what scripture says: “For those measuring themselves by themselves and comparing themselves among themselves are not wise.”

Each of us wants to think we deserve the best and so we tend to watch what others do and what others have. If their lot in life is better than ours, we wish we had what they have. We compare what we are lacking and wish we had more.

Granted, we don’t know what all it took to get there. We don’t know the failures and miscommunications that took place to get that couple to where they are now. We only know it would be nice to have what we think they have.

While scripture talks about infidelity as a no-no, it also tells us how to do marriage. We tend to forget that unfaithfulness begins in our mind and hearts and not in actions. Proverbs talks about that.

What Proverbs has to say

The New King James says it like this:

15 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.
And the New Century Version explains it like this:
15 Be faithful to your own wife, just as you drink water from your own well16 Don’t pour your water in the streets; don’t give your love to just any woman. 17 These things are yours alone and shouldn’t be shared with strangers. 18 Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. She gives you joy, as your fountain gives you water.

your own wellEnjoy your own well

We might think this is talking about extra-marital affairs; infidelity; fornication; adultery. It’s talking about these, but it’s telling us more than that.
When we are not satisfied with water from our own wells, it means we’re looking in other places for satisfaction. Even if we only entertain thoughts in our minds, we’re not staying with our own well.
Being happy with our own spouse includes not comparing him with others. It means we find contentment in what we have, and remember that we are lacking in perfection as well. Contentment does not mean we can’t work at improving our marriage and making it better. To do that, we need to continue to drink from our own well.

your own wellContentment in drinking from one’s own well

Contentment in marriage recognizes that we are imperfect people, and thus imperfect spouses. It recognizes that we are most content when we are satisfied with what we already have, but are willing to work at what it takes to make it better.
Instead of bailing out and looking for other wells, we need to find contentment and drink water from our own well.
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